Monday, September 10, 2012

Come On Over!

Make Me Smile (Come Up And See Me)

In the porno video for his new single, “Come On Over,” Kenny Chesney helms the largest, shiniest waterborne penis motorboat you’ve ever seen in a country music video. It’s the kind of metal yacht that only rap stars billionaires rent own. He’s all alone, moodily piloting it dressed like a GQ model guy with a stylist. The stylist is probably responsible for getting him to ditch his eponymous cream straw hat, so that we see his bald noggin.

The storyline appears to be that a very rich lonely guy wants a girlfriend — specifically the comely brunette seen swimming in a bikini. Somehow she magically appears on his boat, where they have fun jumping into the water, paddling on surfboards, making out on a bed and having sex in the shower.

Hang on, Kenny’s having sex in a shower? You heard right. He’s getting up to all sorts of intimate shenanigans in this one. It’s like his publicist said enough’s enough with the gay rumors already! Get Kenny boy laid! In between he plays piano! Earnestly! Damn!

If you’ve ever seen Kenny Chesney in real life, you’ll know he’s a little, sweaty, tight nubbin of a guy with a cut-off shirt, jeans and a hat.

Exhibit A

Here at The Inky Jukebox, we kinda like black and white Kenny-on-a-boat. Keep up the good work, Blue Chair Records! Or just keep it up. 

(In case you were wondering where the title came from, it's this classic:

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